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Saturday, May 7, 2011

The first day of the rest of my life. Or so they say.

I get to sit next to bestie Taylor at graduation.
Kate Brannen + Taylor Brantner = Take that, alphabetical order!

I'm graduating from Asbury College University in approximately two hours. Graduation is exciting, but I'm not finding it to be the joyous celebration movies make it out to be. It feels a little too much like somebody is stepping on my heart with a cleat.

Last night my friends and I dragged our mattresses into one apartment to stay up late and soak in all our final collegiate moments. We were going to goof off and watch Spring Break Shark Attack, which we watch every year on the last night of school. (It is seriously hilarious.) But we all fell asleep just a few minutes into the movie. I just woke up and snapped this pic of the pallet-fest happening beside me. Look at my sweet, sleepy friends. 

Graduation weekend feels like a feeble attempt to wrap four years in paper and tie a bow on them. I don't know how I can be expected to walk across a stage, accept a diploma case, and somehow feel like I'm done at Asbury.

I haven't just gone to college here. I've built a life here. This campus is home to so many memories and so many people I love. The air still feels full of our unfinished plans.

I know I can't stay forever, and I know we'll all be okay in the long run. But that doesn't change how unnatural it feels to say goodbye. The closer I get to graduating, the more I feel like the unnaturalness of goodbyes is an indication that we were never made for a short-term world. 

Today I'm going to smile and cry. I'm going to feel grateful for my four years here but sad that they're ending. And I'm going to try try try to remind myself that this goodbye, like this world, is only temporary.

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